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The Love Guru

John showing off the acting chops developed in his years with the National Youth Theatre.

The Love Guru was a film released in 2007 which was written, directed and starred in by the formerly respected human being John Oliver, who described the project as "My personal re-imagining of Ghandi." The film has received widespead criticism due to several unfunny nob gags, poor acting/editing and deeply disturbing anti-italian undertones (John Oliver has, on several occasions, been accused of hating Italians)

Plot Edit

The Love Guru centers around the mis-fortunes of a greasy French satirist Jean Olivier, who after making a small appearance in an unsuccessful and tasteless French comedy, sees his life spiral hopelessly out of control. Jean's woeful cameo in 'J'adore les Nobb Gagges' causes him to lose his job, get dumped by his girlfriend and also his dog dies because the film is so bad. In a state of despair Jean decides to go on a wild rampage in which he smashes windows, shouts semi-racial slurs at innocent Italians and makes poor satirical jokes to anyone who will listen. The film climaxes with Jean attempting to scale the Empie State building in New York, but after being shot by helicopters Jean plummets to his tragic death. The final line sees Jean's closet friend André Zaltzhomme weeping over Jean's mangled corpse before blubbering "Twas appearing in a crap comedy with Mike Myers that killed the beast."

Dick Pants - God Among men Edit

John Oliver played a "character" called Dick Pants, essentially a straight man to Mike Myer's bullshit "jokes" Pant's running joke is something along the lines of Oprah worship, which shows just how much the movie sucked. It was a bad joke to start with and it was his only one. Poor, poor John Oliver. In some scenes you can actually see John's soul dieing as Mike Myers says something shit and John's face twitches with a look of "What the fuck mate? Say something funny, this is a comedy for god's sake!" Not surprisingly, the film bombed and John got the razzie. And no, that is not a sexual term, don't think that it is. Its an award for making a real shit movie.

A semi-pornographic spin off movie staring Dick Pants was scrapped after it was discovered John is an eunuch. That's why he is so huge. 

Reception Edit

The film met with universally negative reviews, but that's only because most film critics aren't Buglers. One critic's response to the film was to simply walk up to John Oliver and punch him super hard in the face.

Jonathan Ross famously described the film as "Slightly worse than being raped in the eyes".

John Oliver was placed under a visual blurring by God for twenty-four hours. To look at John would have been to see a constantly shifting blur. This was done to protect little Johnny O from the mass of switchblade wielding mobs that were looking for him after the release of the "film"


Conservative Religious Tract Edit

The film, while met with deliciously negative reviews, has been interpreted as a deeply religious piece of work by Mike Myers. Understanding his world view is a bit complicated, but he seems to have an unmitigated hate of everything funny. As such, no amusing moments were allowed into the films. It shows.

References Edit

Google have been chastised for blurring John Oliver from Google Streetview

Fuck you Chris

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