Punitis is a mental disorder that forces its the person inflicted to come up with meaningless word plays. The inflicted will be constantly coming up with puns for sometimes hours on end. Sadly there is no known cure.
The first known case of Punitis is Andy Zaltzman who already had a mental disease. His brain had a tendency to stupid things, and one day he went to the town of Flushing, England and while there he went to the the bathroom (lou) and flushed and then a though struck him. Cities and verbs flashed into his head. Flushing, Luton, bathrooms, and other puns filled his head. something in his exploded and since then he has been creating puns for no apparent reason. The World Health Organization has not acknowledged this, claiming that it is not contagious,"Andy is not sick." they said then leaving quickly to chuckle to themselves to see if anyone would believe them.
How to Get it and how You know you got itEdit
Punitis is passed on audibly. Listening to puns and contrive wordplays for two long is rumored to give it to you, but unfortunatly those who have it can barely speak without cracking puns and laughing to themselves. It is best to avoid contact with those infected because they will pass it on to you. The average person in a room stuck with a person speaking only in puns can hold out for two days. Those with punitis in its early stages share it with others trying to infect them. After a while they will content themselves with keeping it inside. Some people self-flagellate or whack their heads on tables or walls depending the person. Punitics are still capable of all their basic functions and don't appear strange until you talk to them.
You can tell you have it when you are locking yourself in your room laughing to yourself, or when you notice yourself taking copious notes of what people say and then come up with homonyms for them. If you are laughing at street names and road maps because they sound like other words, you have it. If your friends and family are avoiding you because their ears are bleeding from terrible puns, you know you have it. You are past the point of no return when you have been hospitalized trying to think of a pun for the words orange, London, or ambiguous, and if you could come up with puns for those words you are probably reading this in an asylum.
If you have punitis check out the blog for people who have punitis
Fuck you Chris