Nick 'Fat Hitler' Griffin is the head dickbag of the BNP
Place of Birth: Probably somewhere dull, but as far as were concerned its North-Eastern Mordor. His place of death is yet unknown, but many Buglers still speculate that it may be somewhere in Continental Europe (since he is such an internationalist kind of guy) or maybe even a Middle Eastern country. We may never know.. we probably will, or course, especially because it is likely that he will soon be struck down by an angry God soon enough saying', "Take that you nasty little sh*t! It's hard enough not even knowing whether I exist or not without you and your band of merry dickbags making me seem like a dickbag. Being God isn't that easy! I had to watch the Love Guru the whole way through!" before disappearing in a cloud of rightous pro-Buglism.
Controversial Stances taken by GriffinEdit
Nick doesn't believe that global warming is actually happening. His only plan for climate change is to stop immigrants using cars, buses, aeroplanes, etc., but this seems to be entirely coincidental. Funnily enough this seems to equate climate change with the holocaust, because he believes in neither of them.
"Humph, yeah right. Shut up with your little sob story and get back to work. I don't even believe that happened so shut the fudge up"
"The commies are behind the climate change"
The Holocaust: the Flip-Flopping of GriffEdit
But when confronted with a very angry public, Griffin has been known to back away from some of his more controversial (stupid, racist, bigoted) stances; like the holocaust.
A long-time holocaust denier, Nick has recently "changed" his mind. Recently on TV they asked him whether he had changed his views on the Holocaust he said yes whilst looking at his shoes and trying to talk about the weather.
When they asked him if had actually changed his mind or was just saying that, he said;
"I cannot answer that question because European law prevents me doing so" (it doesn’t really)
He further claimed that something had prompted him to consider changing his mind... what? Intercepted radio transmissions. That's right, the first-hand accounts of survivors, Nazi paperwork and records, and the physical evidence of the concentration camps all dismissed as circumstantial evidence.
The following is a direct transcription of the thought that ran through the mind of every person in the studio simultaneously:
<<F#@$*ING RADIO INTERCEPT TRANSMITIONS OF NAZIS GUNNING DOWN JEWS. IS THAT WHAT YOU LISTEN TO INSTEAD OF VIEWING THE PILES OF PAPER WORK THE MOUNTAINS OF SKULLS THE CONFESSIONS OF THE GUILTY AND VIDEO FOOTAGE? YOU MUST HAVE A PROBLEM.>>
Not only does he not want ethnic/religious minorities in his house, he nearly verbally slapped them when he said you can tell a lot about a person by their skin-, caught himself, and corrected his thoughts with "their families." So their families skin going back to the conkers alliteration.
Things to do When You Meet Nick Griffin Edit
We don't really want to give much notice to this massive walking c**t, but here is a short list.
- Pelt the c**t with eggs.
- Pelt him with more eggs
- Ask if he's ever read a history book, present him with one, then pelt him and his book with eggs.
- Set him on fire (be sure to record this for YouTube)
- Establish an egg based catapult and use it excessively.
- Tell him Andy Zaltzman sends his regards, then punch his crotch.
- Tell him they have an operation to remove his c*ntitude, but the first step is admitting you are a raging c**t.
- Or simply shout out "Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!" (right in the Dickbag's face)
- Call him any thing pertaining to white supremacist.
- Smack him in the face, REALLY hard, with the new iPhone. Don't worry, it's made of steel.
- Deliberately misprounce his name, but apologise slyly after to avoid an awkward situation. then pelt him with eggs.
- Take back the apology.
- Ask him what house he would be in if he was in Hogwarts and insinuate it would be Slytherin. Tell this story later at dinner parties.
*Please note that while the Bugle Wiki whole-heartedly endorses the above actions, we are unfortunately unable to guarantee diplomatic immunity for doing it. But you'll probably be alright, its Nick Griffin... he's a colossal penis.*
True "Facts" about Nick GriffinEdit
- Interestingly in this case "Nick" is not short for Nicholas, but instead derives from the Sicilian-Norman verb "nicquer" or "to steal."
- Meanwhile it should be noted that "Griffin" is a mythological creature that is a result of interbreeding.
- His nasty little personality is officially so caustic that he is not allowed to ever enter Sweden.
- N.I.C.K. G.R.I.F.F.I.N. stands for Nasty Idiotic C*nt Kretin Gretuatiously Racist Inbred Friendless Feline-loving Interracia-secretly Numpty
- He impregnated Sarah Palin. Let the apocalypse begin!!!!
Fuck you Chris