New York is (as eight out of sixteen cityologists agree) OK, but not as good as London. The city was founded by John Oliver in 2007, when he arrived on the shores of the New World looking for a place to record the Bugle away from the stench of Andy Zaltzman's knees (Andy suffers from a rare disease known as Patella Malodorous, which causes his knee caps to give off an indescribable, unbearable stench, especially when he is in proximity to recording devices and/or kiwi).
The city grew up rapidly, becoming a thriving metropolis before John even had the chance to lay the first stone. In the new city, a pervasive myth developed, which claimed that New York had not been constructed out of the firmament by a seafaring comedian, but by the Dutch, and that it had once been named New Amsterdam. However, most cityologists say that this is a lie, pointing to a lack of wooden shoes and windmills.
Anecdote from Alledged Dutch FoundingEdit
According to the myth, the iconic Times Square was built in 1633 by Dutch-Greek immigrant Horace Verhulst as a plea for favor from Zeus, in the hopes he would intervene in the Danish-Atlantian War (1632-1641). It is unclear if the appeal was successful; while the Atlantian capital was swallowed by the ocean depths (thereby ending the war), Verhulst was found dead, having been struck by lightning an unprecedented 3,700 sequential times. This broke spectacularly the previous record of 84 held by Douglas "lightning-rod" Hughes of Belfast in 1427.
Those I♥NY ShirtsEdit
New York is most famous for being the place those 'I♥NY' t-shirts refer to, though in some circles the N and Y are thought to stand for Nepalese Yeti, which leads to a different sort of message altogether.
A group of new york residents have started kidnaping tourists who wear those shirts and torture them in underground bunkers surounded by fiery lakes of death forcing people to suffer immense amount of pain for many years till death( still beats listening to mika).
The Bugle in New York SocietyEdit
In New York The Bugle is slang for the feeling of annoyance one has when he or she witnesses a pigeon or other small city bird not wearing a wig of outlandish style. To Bugle has become the action of sculpting these bird wigs and Bugling the term for New York citizens in the action of trying to administer these hair pieces.
Fuck you Chris