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Resistance is Futile
Lies are everywhere. In fact, even this sentence is itself a lie.
Most humans (and all impalas) are of the belief that lies are "bad". This belief is perpetuated by Wikipedia moderators, who crushed the efforts to fill up the Bugle's Wikipedia page with wonderful lies. Despite this oppression, there is a persistent minority which insists that lies are useful, fulfilling, delicious and sexy. They are right, of course. This includes well-known cannibal Andy Zaltzman and 13th Century Pope John Oliver (as Chester III), both of whom are known to dress in women's undergarments whilst recording their popular weekly lie-a-thon, The Bugle.
The Origin of Lying Edit
The concept of lying first occured in the early twentieth century when Henry Ford said "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." However lying was re-branded in 1994 with the start of the National Lottery. Lying was no longer the easiest way to make fun of the stupid and/or gulible so marketing executives changed it's purpose, now lying is used to make yourself look cool. However this image has somewhat been tarnished by lying's continued use by politicians and Andy Zaltzman.
There are those who say that lying about lying cancels out the initial lie. These people are lying to you, in an attempt to justify this lie. This argument is based on the concept of the double negative; which implies that lies are themselves negative. This is a lie. Because lies are not by their nature bad things, this accusation is therefore a lie. This phenominon has been dubbed "the misinformation paradox," but it is a lie. Therefore it is true.
Lies in The BugleEdit
It has been alleged by some that noted transatlantic podcast the Bugle is all built on a lie, or alternately several lies. The task of determining whether this is true is, needless to say, daunting. But it can be argued, as did French philosophe Denis Diderot in 1749, that from one perspective or another all institutions are built upon lies. If this is the case, then the Bugle is far less of a lie than all other institutions, by virtue of its readiness to accept the fact that it is all a lie, and therefore true.
Some prefer to call lies 'misinformation'. This is perfectly acceptable, considering that the grammar, prefix and definition of the word fit the parameters of the English language as an acceptable substitute for the word 'lie', but more importantly, because lies are not technically misinformation, then you are lying about the very nature of a lie, and compounding the ability of a lie to lie within itself, thus squaring the lie's lying nature and making your lie's lying intent compound upon itself to the previous lying energy's level of lying's square. We're not lying.
Due to the popularity of the 'misinformation' label, the Bugle Wiki's page dedicated to lying is titled the "Andy Zaltzman Memorial Misinformation Page".
Fuck you Chris