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Regular impala

A seemingly innocent impala citizen.

Impalas are insidious gazelle-like mammals. Indigenous to Africa, they are planning an uprising against Lions, but are using the war against the Bugle as a training war for their army.

Impala Facts Edit

Collected by the Bugle Espionage ServiceEdit

  • Impalas only have a 1.603% pass rate at GCSE, and most only get a C at dance and no other passes.
  • Impalas are rumoured to be Pigs with horns.
  • Impalas cause 98% of road accidents, but they have learned camouflage skills.
  • Paris Hilton apparently once dated an impala to impress Nicole Ritchie.
  • Impalas recently inflitrated The Bugle hdadqartrs and wood have fouled every1 as to thir presents exsept four ther teribl spllllling on th Bgl weeeeebsoote.
  • Impalas are the new black according to Gok Wan.
  • When invited to attend one of Stephen Hawking's lectures, the chief impala refused, demanding to give a lecture himself.
  • While most right-minded citizens despise Impalas for their stupid necks, there is also considerable venom reserved for their dumb ears, moronic legs, and dumb arses.
  • Impalas are widely known to be the second most dishonest creature on earth, after the rufus-sided towhee.
  • The Impala Nation has yet to send any troops to Iraq, so they have also gained America as an enemy.
  • An Impala was the actual cause of the Diana Car Crash.
  • They have always been against the British Monarchy ever since they were left out of the Magna Carta
  • An Impala was responsible for the suicide attack that killed Benazir Bhutto.
  • Impala herds were the inspiration for Karl Marx's communist ideas of nationalizing communication & transportation and their idealistic state of classlessness. But Impalas have always been adamantly against a progressive income tax.
  • It is widely believed that the People's Republic of China is actually under control of the Impala Armed Forces. The IAF is using the Chinese government as a front to develope "super-impalas" capable of destroying the lion population and, eventually, Britain due to Andy's ignorant remarks.
  • Impalas have no left side.
  • They need, nay, WANT to be killed with fire.
  • Impalas are the culprits behind the recent difficulty in downloading the Bugle.

Fuck you Chris

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