Impala Facts Edit
Collected by the Bugle Espionage ServiceEdit
- Impalas only have a 1.603% pass rate at GCSE, and most only get a C at dance and no other passes.
- Impalas are rumoured to be Pigs with horns.
- Impalas cause 98% of road accidents, but they have learned camouflage skills.
- Paris Hilton apparently once dated an impala to impress Nicole Ritchie.
- Impalas recently inflitrated The Bugle hdadqartrs and wood have fouled every1 as to thir presents exsept four ther teribl spllllling on th Bgl weeeeebsoote.
- Impalas are the new black according to Gok Wan.
- When invited to attend one of Stephen Hawking's lectures, the chief impala refused, demanding to give a lecture himself.
- While most right-minded citizens despise Impalas for their stupid necks, there is also considerable venom reserved for their dumb ears, moronic legs, and dumb arses.
- Impalas are widely known to be the second most dishonest creature on earth, after the rufus-sided towhee.
- The Impala Nation has yet to send any troops to Iraq, so they have also gained America as an enemy.
- An Impala was the actual cause of the Diana Car Crash.
- They have always been against the British Monarchy ever since they were left out of the Magna Carta
- An Impala was responsible for the suicide attack that killed Benazir Bhutto.
- Impala herds were the inspiration for Karl Marx's communist ideas of nationalizing communication & transportation and their idealistic state of classlessness. But Impalas have always been adamantly against a progressive income tax.
- It is widely believed that the People's Republic of China is actually under control of the Impala Armed Forces. The IAF is using the Chinese government as a front to develope "super-impalas" capable of destroying the lion population and, eventually, Britain due to Andy's ignorant remarks.
- Impalas have no left side.
- They need, nay, WANT to be killed with fire.
- Impalas are the culprits behind the recent difficulty in downloading the Bugle.
Fuck you Chris