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Crystal Palace FC

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BackgroundEdit

God probably doesn't follow a football team (mostly because he probably doesn't exist), however if he did it would almost certainly be the mighty Eagles of Selhurst Park, London. Founded by Prince Albert in 1905 as he grew increasingly tired of his massive glass shack, the team was an instant success. Origonally playing inside the exhibition centre, the team originally got its nickname as 'The Glaziers' due to their incredibly inaccurate shooting (a trend which has continued to the present day) which often resulted in the need to fix large panels in the building's exterior.

As the club has moved through history, it has had many famous players and managers. Nowadays however, it is run by the second brightest (in terms of light only) body in the solar system, the permanently orange chairman Simon Jordan. Under him (in the least literal sense ever (we hope) is team manager Neil Warnock. Interestingly, though Warnock appears at first view to be a giant dick, it is impossible not to laugh whenever he opens his mouth. It has been debated whether this is more down to the continual rubbish spewing forth from his mouth, or the ridiculous regional dialect it comes out in.

Perhaps the most famous person to be associated with the Eagles is World-renowned nut-job Colonel Gadaffi, who was rumoured to be interested in purchasing the club prompting massive response from Palace fans on various supporter message boards. (Un)fortunately this never came to fruition and the club remains in the hands of Jordan, prompting Palace fans to ironically proclaim - 'The future's bright; our chairman is orange' (please refer to the Orange mobile advert if you do not get this).

Arguably the club's greatest moment was their appearance in the 1990 FA Cup Final and subsequent replay as the determined, lovable underdogs fought bravely against the generally disgusting and Satan backed Moanchester United. (Quick note, that was not a typo. Also, due to their nickname as the 'Red Devils' I feel that it is editorially just to make the association between the disgusting Northerners and Beelzebub himself). After admirably fighting to a 3-3 draw in the final in what was the greatest moral victory in history for the red and blue, they were robbed in the replay 0-1.

Since then Palace have decided to give the rest of the English Football League a chance and have decided to withdraw to the second tier of English football to keep watch on the rest of the country. Occasionally, just to prove to the world that they could be a great team if they wanted to, Palace get themselves promoted the the Premiership for just one season before returning to their place in the Championship.

Links to The BugleEdit

Interestingly, the format for the bugle with Andy in England and John in America was modelled on Crystal Palace's relationship with their American counterparts, Crystal Palace Baltimore. Much like the presenters of the Word's foremost podcast for Structural Engineers, the two remain largely apart on other sides of the Atlantic, though they come together every now and then for an incomparably magnificent joint event.

Fuck you Chris

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