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Police artist's sketch of a chicken.

Chickens are gigantic carnivourous monsters which were believed to be extinct since 1121 AD. However one was spotted listening to The Bugle in a branch of Hooters in Nottingham in 2008. It wasn't captured, and has been on the run since. As exposed by heroic undercover journalistic work in Episode 52 of The Bugle, Chickens are raging homophobes.

They also find that they are phsically repeled by those who do not think that 'Allo 'Allo is the best sitcom ever. This is different from the homophobia because obviously 'Allo 'Allo is a great sitcom and gay are tasty.

We do not yet know where their political allegiances lie, but their previous work, adding 16 years to the Hundred Years' War, suggests that they are sleeper agents for the God Kaos. (like Chaos, but more messy). To do this they stole a teenager and threw it back in time. The continuous moaning slowed everybody down, stopping them from finishing work early.

Common rumours about chickens:

  • They are allies of the beleaguered Alaskan Moose population (sadly dwindling)
  • They don't actually taste like chicken. In reality they are more similar in taste to marmite.
  • They predate the formation of the solar system by 400,000 years (confirmed in the LHC in 2010)

Fuck you Chris

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